In MI we put a lot of focus on practicing the skill of reflections. Partly because it’s the core skill, partly because it requires us to pay close attention to what the person has just said.

Questions are easier to learn and add to the repertoire. A really useful skill is to collect good questions. Look for them, hear them, steal them, remember them. We want that butterfly net at the ready.

Just as important, we need somewhere to put them. A bag of butterflies at the back of the cupboard is no good to anyone. Least of all the butterflies.

We want somewhere they can be available in all their full glory, ready for the right moment. And know them so well that we can recall them in a difficult conversation.