We rarely celebrate the answer “I don't know”. It seems incomplete, undesirable or even a failure. It's not a destination to strive for.

Not knowing challenges our need for clarity, to feel in control, to find our ground. It brings discomfort, apprehension even panic or dread. We often reward those who speak with confidence, and give less weight to a more tentative voice.

And yet there is a humility, even a grace, to not knowing. It means we are not clinging to one option or another, with all of its advantages or disadvantages. It allows space to really investigate what is present. It means there is an opportunity to be open to what is not yet seen or known.

The starting point of change is not seeing that we have a problem. Nor is it when we think we have a solution. The starting point for change starts between the two, in seeing we have a dilemma and not knowing what to do next.

If we don't let ourselves experience the discomfort, we may snap straight from the problem into a solution. Any solution. Not necessarily the best solution. We compound this when we then define the problem as the achieving that solution.

There is much to be learned from the space between the problem and solution, and it starts by welcoming what we don't know.